The Blog

As a newspaper columnist, Nancy Devlin, Ph.D. has written over 700 articles on subjects related to education and parenting. Welcome to her Classroom!

Apprenticeship for Life

For most of recorded history, young men trained for their trades by being apprenticed to master craftsmen. They did not go to school or college to learn.  Instead, they learned on the job.  Some professions like medicine still require internships before giving a person full authority to work on his own. The intern/apprentice is taught and guided by the master practitioner while working on the job. No other educational technique has ever proven as effective as this most ancient method.

The first master practitioners young children learn from are their parents.  Children blessed with parents who take this role seriously seem to  function better in life.  Richard Feynman, the physicist,  described how his father taught him in a book entitled. “What Do You Care What Other People Think?”  His father translated what the young child was experiencing into a  reality he  could understand.  When teaching about dinosaurs he did not  just tell him that the dinosaur is twenty-five feet high and its head is six feet across and he should memorize that.  Rather, he told the young boy what that means. ”That would mean that if  he stood in our front yard, he would be tall enough to put his  head through our window.  But his head would be too wide to fit in the window.”  On a walk in the woods his father would tell him about interesting  things happening there.  He did  not  have  him memorize the names of the  birds, rather he had him observe what the birds were doing.

Feynman says he learned very early the difference between knowing the name of something and knowing something.  What makes this first apprenticeship so effective is the relationship between the master teacher and student.  That is ultimately what makes all apprenticeships effective.

Stephen Hamilton of Cornell University advocates an American System of Apprenticeship in a book entitled, “Apprenticeship  for Adulthood: Preparing Youth for the Future.”  This author came to the  same understanding that Feynman’s father practiced  so  well when he wrote:  “Schools are not necessarily the best places  for learning.  They are too prone to detach knowledge from its  uses, therefore  not  only  impairing motivation  but  also  ultimately distorting learning.  Beyond accumulating facts, education  means acquiring  both an understanding of how the world works  and  the ability  to learn the principles and skills required at  a  given time.”

In  West Germany apprenticeship is the predominant form of  education for upper-secondary education.  Young people from 16 to 18  years old typically serve three year  apprenticeships.   They attend  school  one or two days a week and spend the  balance  of their time learning at work.

Teachers  like  the one portrayed by Robin Williams in the film “Dead Poet’s Society” often function as master practitioners for  their  students.  These  teachers do not  just teach the students,  they immerse them in the richness of great written works whether that is  part of the curriculum or not.  The apprenticeship these teachers offer is helping the students  live a life rich in ideas.  They understand that  the  business  of education is not to gather facts, but to find a ruling passion  - something around which the students can organize their lives.

Posted in Educational Reform, Getting the Most For Your Child, Parenting, Teachers | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

New Mothers, Vulnerable Creatures

A  recent  study  reported that being a mother and homemaker
is  more stressful than working  outside the home.   One of the
reasons for this might be that a women’s role in the  marketplace
is  more  defined  and can be measured   as   being  productive,
while   the   role  of   mother, especially that of  new  mother,
can be characterized as flying by the seat of your pants with  no
real  guidelines,  but with lots of guilt  and little feeling  of
accomplishment.    This  is especially true in  today’s  world
because  new  mothers  no  longer  have  a  support  network  of relatives  and  friends  to assist them  and  to  serve  as  role models for them.

A new mother is a very vulnerable creature.  She  reads books  by   experts  who tell her what to and not to  do.   Since many  so-called  experts disagree,  the new mother is faced  with making  a  choice  but  is  told  that  there  are  dire  consequences   if   she guesses wrong.  Many would  be  happy  to trade this uncertainty for the certainties of a career outside of
the home.
     One  common error new mothers fall into  after  reading
all  the  advice in the baby and “how to” books is to attempt  to
do  everything  recommended even if the advice  is   conflicting.
They  buy  all the equipment,   learning cribs,   teaching  kits, toys,  and  games  they read are  important  to  their  child’s  future   development.   The anxiety all this  activity  generates sometimes leaves the mothers with little feeling of the joy and contentment  they could and should be having by relaxing,  having  confidence  in themselves and interacting  naturally  with  their babies.

      The  first thing that can be done for new mothers   is  to  make  the job more attractive and relaxing.   Mothers do  not  need to be stimulating babies constantly with special  equipment.  As  a matter of fact,  too much of this type of activity  may  be pushing  babies  too  fast and too hard and may not be   helpful.   Instead  mothers should feel free to relax with their babies  and be quiet observers taking their cues from the babies’ activities.   The only equipment babies really need can be found in every home:  sponges,  cans,  plastic bottles,  pots  and  pans  and so forth.

     The  second thing  that can be done for new mothers  is
or society  to give them the message that raising a child is one 
of  the  most  important  and  productive  things  they  can  do.
Businesses can back up this message by making it easy for mothers
to  return to their careers without prejudice or penalty.  Better
still, businesses can encourage the new mothers to work part-time
so  that  they  have  a  break  from  child  care  and  have  the
opportunity for adult contact.

        A third way to help new mothers is to provide them with
some concrete,  personal, in-the-home help when their babies  are
very  young.   Mothers now come home from the hospital  two  days
after the baby is born.  That is too soon for a mother who has no
help.   What  should  begin as a happy  experience  soon  becomes   burdensome  and  unpleasant.   New mothers need support  to  feel
confident in raising their  babies.   When they gain  confidence,
they can begin to relax and to enjoy themselves and finally to be
charmed by watching their new, wonderful baby grow and  develop.

For Mother’s Day consider giving a new mother the
gift  of time.  Offer to take over for her so that she  can  have
time  for  herself.  It is important for all of us that  we  make
this  a pleasant, rewarding experience for the new  mother.   She
deserves  all the help she can get.  When she is  successful,  we
all benefit.

Posted in Getting the Most For Your Child, Parenting | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

FUN… Learning at Home

There  are many things parents can do at home that not  only
will  make their children more successful at school but will also
make  learning fun.   The best activities are those which involve
children  actively  rather than passively with pencil  and  paper
tasks.

For the very young child, the parent and child can name the
objects in the room together.   The parent can then ask the child
to  bring  the  objects to him or her.   The parent  can  make  a
scrapbook of common objects for the child to name.  The child can
rhyme  nonsense words. For example, what sounds like “lunny”?   A
parent can help a child learn two step directions, then  increase
them  to three and four steps.  A parent can say  nursery  rhymes
and  put them on a tape so that the child can play them over  and
over.  Playing rhyming games with the child helps.  For  example,
What two words sound alike: tan, ten, bag, man.  Activities  such
as these prepare the child to learn to read.

It  also  helps  if parents read aloud  to  their  children.
Current  research shows that children who were read to  only  ten
minutes  four  times  a  week reached higher  levels  of  reading
achievement  than  children  who were not read  to  at  all.   If
parents  can  spare  more time,  the  children  do  even  better.
Children  should  be encouraged to talk about the story  and  ask
questions.

When  parents read aloud to their child they should ask  the
child warm-up questions before beginning the book.  It also helps
to  ask a variety of questions during the reading:   What do  you
think  will happen next?   How do you think the little boy feels?
Could  the  little boy in the story have done something  else  to
solve  his  problem?  How do you know the story  takes  place  in
winter?  Do you remember what the little boy was wearing?   Which
person  in the story did you like best?  Parents could  also  add
their own ideas about the story and what they liked about it.  Do
not put pressure on the child to read but make the time  together pleasant

In  the  area  of  math  development  there  are  many   fun
activities  parents  can do with their children.  The  child  can
help  set the table, counting the knives and forks  and  matching
them to each person’s place at the table.  Making a cake helps  a
child  learn  math concepts.  Playing a game like Bingo  helps  a
child recognize the numbers.  Games are wonderful ways for the child to learn                              and the family to have fun.  Simple Simon is an old time favorite.  Jigsaw
puzzles of all levels of difficulty are very helpful.   Stringing
different size buttons is fun as is lacing pictures with  colored
yarn.   Playing  with  marbles and jump roping  are  helpful  for
coordination.    The   game  of  Pick-Up-Sticks   helps   develop
eye-hand  coordination.   Bean bags and targets as well  as  ring
toss games help with coordination too.

There  are  many games to play while traveling in  the  car.                                                                One  is  called Alphabet Hunt.  This involves  finding  words  on
signs  that begin with letters of the alphabet in  order.   Young
children can have a copy of the alphabet in front of them to help                                                     them remember which letter comes next.  It is always fun to  make
up a story.  One person begins the story and the next person adds
to  the  plot.  Singing is also a pleasant activity  which  helps
children learn.

I encourage parents to help their children become  life-long
learners by providing them with pleasant learning experiences and
activities which prepare them to take the next step and meet with
success.

Posted in From Experience, Getting the Most For Your Child, Parenting | Tagged , , , , , | Leave a comment

Things To Do Before School Starts

It  is  the  time of year when  parents  bring  their  young children  to  school to register for kindergarten  in  the  fall. They  are  ready for “real” school now.  Parents can  do  several things to ensure their child’s success in this new adventure.


Many   children  have  difficulty  in  school   because  of undetected  visual  problems.   One child in four  has  a  vision problem and one child in five needs glasses.  These problems  are not always discovered  by the school eye chart.  Up to 80 percent of  such problems slip past this test undetected.   Inability  to focus,  to  gauge distance and to follow text on a page,  if  not discovered early, can interfere the learning especially  learning to  read.  Serious nearsightedness, which makes it difficult  for the  child  to  see  what  is  on  the  blackboard,  often   goes undetected.


Parents  need  to be alert since children usually   are  not aware  of  inadequate vision.  Here are some  signs  of  possible vision problems:  avoidance of close work; watery, inflamed  eyes indicating  an  infection or allergy; inability  to  see  distant objects; turning or tilting the head to one side as if trying  to clarify  an  image;  excessive  clumsiness;  holding  objects  or reading material close to the eyes; rubbing , blinking, squinting and  closing  one  eye  to  see  something  close  or  far  away;  complaints of headaches or dizziness after doing close-up work.  

Failure to correct vision problems could result in permanent impairment.   If  you  have any  concerns,  consult  a  pediatric opthalmologist.


Other children have problems in school because of undetected hearing  loss.   This impairment seems to affect boys  more  than girls.  There are some boys who, although their hearing  problems were  treated  as  babies, may be prone  to  auditory  processing problems  when  they  go  to  school.   They  cannot  screen  out conflicting  noises and miss much of what is said.  This  problem often  goes  undetected  because they can hear  in  a  one-on-one situation when the adult looks right at them, but fail to get the message when competing sounds interfere.

Here are some signs to look for in your child.  Be concerned if  he  is not disturbed by loud noises; does  not  respond  when spoken  to; uses gestures almost exclusively to  establish  needs rather than verbalizing and watches adults’ faces intently; looks around  the  room  and his attention  wanders  while  someone  is reading to him; often says “huh” or “what” indicating he does not understand; breathes with his mouth open.


When hearing problems go undetected, children have  problems in  school which are usually attributed to other reasons.   These children are restless, have short attention spans, are distracted in groups, and are seldom first to do what the teacher asks.   In addition,   they   are  unaware  of   social   conventions   like automatically  saying,  “thank  you.”, “I’m  sorry”.   They  grab another  child to get his attention rather than saying  his  name and, in general, are unaware of disturbing others with noises.  
Children  with  undetected hearing loss may not be  able  to communicate or to use words as effectively as their peers.  As  a result  they may appear to be less intelligent than  they  really are.  When  tested,  they  may do  poorly  because  they  do  not understand  the  questions and may guess or say “I  don’t  know.”

This  appears to confirm the hypothesis of limited  intelligence. These children often have behavior problems because they are  not sure what is expected of them.


If  you suspect your child may have a hearing impairment  or an auditory processing problem, try to have him evaluated  before he  goes  to kindergarten.  It is best to have an  otologist  who understands children do the assessment.


Children  need all systems on GO in order to do well in  the crucial primary grades.  “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of  cure”  is a very apt saying since, at this age,  the  earlier the  cure,  the greater likelihood that the child will  become  a successful learner.

Posted in From Experience, Getting the Most For Your Child, Parenting | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Friendships… Parents Need to Teach

If  your child has difficulty making friends, summer may  be
the time to start to do something about it.  Some children, while
not rejected by their peers, are merely neglected by them.  There
are other children who are afraid of new adventures. They find it
difficult to take the risk to seek out a friend.  Both groups  of
children  often  become  solitary and look to  TV  and
computer games as substitutes for real friends.  This can  become
a  problem  for parents and their children since most of  the  TV
programs are not helpful to the developing child.

Some  children  do  not have friends  because  they  do  not
recognize cues from other children that they are doing  something
that  is unacceptable.  One of these cues is facial  expressions.
If  your  child  seems  to have this  problem,  try  showing  him
pictures  of  different facial expressions and  what  they  mean.
Then  help your child not only to recognize them but  to  develop
more  appropriate  ways of responding to  different  expressions.

Parents  can  also supervise and encourage their  child  when  he
attempts to use this new skill.

Some  children  do  not  know how  to  reciprocate  when  an
overture to friendship is made.  There are other children who are
so  fearful  of  being rejected that they  do  not  recognize  an
overture  when  it occurs.  When you see this happening  to  your
child,  give him the words he could use or show him how he  could
offer to share some of his toys with the other child to make  the
child feel accepted as a friend.  You might want to role-play  an
actual  situation  you observed involving your child so  that  he
learns the skills needed to recognize a potential friend.

Very young children who are involved in antisocial  behavior
like hitting, biting and whining should be helped before they  go
to  school.   This behavior will inhibit their  ability  to  make
friends and might make them hate school.  Parents can help  these
children  be  being  very concrete in their  suggestions  and  by
taking  them through a series of steps to practice other ways  to
deal with their frustrations.

Parents can help by modeling behavior necessary to make  and
keep  a friend.  Talk about how much you enjoy your  friends  and
the  effort  you make to keep them.  Encourage your  children  to
work at their friendships.  If they have a fallout with a friend,
help  them  to resolve the problem and to  reconcile  with  their
friend.

Children  who  are  cautious  and  have  difficulty  forming
friendships can be helped by joining established groups like  the
boy  or  girl scouts, theater or sport groups  like  soccer.   It
helps  if they can develop a skill that will be admired by  their
peers.   Having  your child join a biking group  formed  by  your
local  bike  store might be a good beginning.  Not  only  is  the
child  making friends, he is exercising his body and learning  to
use his time in active ways rather than being passive by watching
TV.

Children in today’s world need a least one friend who  gives
them emotional support.  Some  children have computer friends and
feel  that  is a satisfactory substitute.  It is  not  the  same.
They can cut off computer friends by the flick of a switch.  That
is  not  emotional  support.  It  is  passive  friendship.   True
friendship  requires commitment and give and take.  Children  who
have  acquired this skill live happier lives and seem to  thrive.

I encourage you to help your child to find and to keep a  friend.
It  may  take some effort on your part, but it is  worth  it  and
cannot be left to chance.

Posted in Behavior, Getting the Most For Your Child, Parenting | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Educating the Whole Child

It is time for adults to become concerned for the  education
of  the  whole child.   The tendency seems to be to take care  of
parts  of a child’s total development while the rest is  left  to
chance.    The   best   example  of  this  an  over-concern   for
intellectual  development  which can be evaluated  by  scores  on
tests while the physical, social, emotional and moral development
is neglected.  As a result, we are producing children who develop
into immature adults and never reach their potential.

 The  aim of education, according to Jean Piaget,  is  moral
and  intellectual  autonomy.  Autonomy means  being  governed which  means  being by oneself and is the opposite of heteronomy which means
being governed be someone else.

 All  babies are born helpless and need to be taken care  of
and  governed  by adults.  As they move  toward  adulthood,  they
should  become  increasingly autonomous.  To the  extent  that  a
child  becomes  able to govern himself, he is  governed  less  by
other  people.  According to Piaget, children learn moral  values
by constructing them from within, based on interactions with  the
environment.   They need to be given opportunities to put  things
into relationships through social interactions.  

     Dr. Constance Kamii, an authority on the ideas of  Jean
Piaget,  feels  that  children  need to   be  helped  to  develop
intellectual  autonomy.  This means being governed by oneself  in
the  intellectual realm.  People who have acquired this  autonomy  
do  not  accept  unquestioningly what they  are  told,  including
slogans  and  propaganda.   Instead of  requiring  that  children
arrive  at  the right answer, teachers would be more  helpful  if
they  asked how the children arrived at the answer.  If  a  child
adds incorrectly, and the only response is that the teacher marks
it wrong, the child is given the erroneous message that the truth
comes  only  from the teacher’s head.  Dr. Kamii says  that  when
individual  children are asked how they arrived at  a  particular
answer,  they  typically react by grabbing for the  eraser,  even
when  their answers are correct.  They must learn to trust  their
own thinking.

Moral  autonomy is another essential property for a complete
adult.   This  should  be  learned early and cannot  be  left  to
chance.   Parents  and teachers need to provide  experiences  and
model  behavior  for  children so that  they  learn  to  identify
situations  with  a  moral/ethical dimension and  to  base  their
responses on what is right.  

     Children  also need to learn to  accept  responsibility
for  their own actions.  Parents should not rescue them from  the
consequences.   They are not responsible for the actions  of  the
rest  of  the  world,  but they are  responsible  for  their  own
behavior.   This is a very difficult task because the  media  and
the world act  differently.  Parents have much to fight  against.
However, it is probably the most important thing they can do  for
their  children, and it must be done early.  Adolescence  may  be
too late, it should begin with the very young child.
  We   should  all  be  conscious  of  the  fact  that   the
development  and nurturing of intellectual and moral autonomy  in ourselves and our children is a lifelong process and we are going
to  be  faced constantly with new dilemmas in our  society.   The
process should be started early and it is never finished.

Piaget  noted that if we examine ” normal adult  individuals
who  are representative of the honest,  human average,  the truly
logical  persons who are masters of their reasoning power are  as
rare  as the truly moral men who exercise their  conscience  with all their strength.”



Posted in Behavior, Educational Reform, From Experience, Parenting | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

Life Long Learners

The purpose of education is not to produce students who do well on standardized tests but to produce life-long learners who enjoy learning and are successful at it.  In order to accomplish this goal, children not only need to be taught the tools for learning they also need to be taught how to use these tools so that they can continue to learn with or without the supervision of adults, in or out of school.

Children take different roads to learning.  Some go quickly, some slowly, some are right-brained thinkers some are left.  No one way is better than another.  They are merely different.  These differences need to be recognized and accepted.  Children need not be separated from each other because of these differences.  If we do that, we have what Bruno Bettelheim called, “Segreation, New Style.”  Children need to learn how to appreciate and negotiate with all styles of learning.  They need to be exposed to the experience of hearing a topic discussed and thinking  “How interesting….I never thought of it that way.”  At the same time, different styles and rates of learning among children should not hinder their development or their potential for creativity.  We need to develop workers for the whole spectrum of jobs in our country from creative leaders to creative craftsmen.

How can we do this given our diverse population?  One way is to recognize that there are several types of teaching in elementary school.  One type includes basic skills:  reading, writing and math.  Another involves the acquisition of concept and the analysis and exchange of ideas as in the humanities, the natural and social sciences.  Children can be divided into groups according to learning style and rate of learning when teaching a skill, then brought back together as a group when using the skill as a tool for learning.  For example, it makes sense to break up the class into homogeneous groups according to skill level when teaching reading, but to have heterogeneous groups for cooperative learning lessons.

This philosophy holds true for gifted and talented programs.  Children in the best of these programs, instead of being completely segregated, spend time with other children.  However, the distribution of their time can be different.  Gifted children need less time acquiring skills and learning facts and more time exchanging and analyzing ideas.  They can spend some time with all of the students learning how they think and arrive at conclusions and being contributing members of this group and some time with a small group of slect students like themselves.  It helps also to remove the top students from the group at times because it allows the next level of students a chance to be on top.

Many children are spending most of their time at the knowledge level of learning.  That is they are learning to label, repeat, reproduce, list and describe.  Most students will forget this information quickly because it is not put to any practical use and is never applied or used as a tool.  We want more for our students.  We want them to be creative critical thinkers who use what they are learning to further their knowledge and to solve problems and answer their questions.

Posted in Parenting | Leave a comment

Thought To Share

The present world-wide financial crisis could almost be counted as a blessing – that is if we understand and act appropriately to its message.  We are all connected.

We are all connected because we are all part of creation.  The creator’s love is unconditional and in the end, every part of creation experiences this love.  It just is – you don’t earn it.  You cannot accept or reject it, but you do experience it for all eternity. The creator does not judge creation.

Mankind’s journey on Earth can be either pleasant or not – it depends on mankind, not the creator.  The creator provided a beautiful world, but it is up to mankind to decide how to live in it.

So far, mankind is not doing very well, but we can change that by understanding the connection.  In this vein, there is no sin – you cannot offend the creator. There is one commandment – love your neighbor as yourself.  Man’s inhumanity to man is what makes this journey on earth so difficult.

As was said about Auschwitz – Where was God in all this suffering?  As Styron said, more accurately, Where was man?  As humans, we all need to bear responsibility for mankind’s suffering and also for its joys.

And we can rejoice in its joys

In ancient Egypt, the god of the After Life, Osiris, asks two questions:

  1. Did you bring joy?  And
  2. Did you experience joy?

How would you answer?  Think about it.  How do you parent your children?  What are you teaching them?  How to solve problems?  How to help one another?  How to spread joy?  At dinner, you might ask what joy did you find today rather than did you get an A and beat out the competition.

Let’s spread joy and love our neighbor as ourselves.

To help you here is the prayer of St. Francis followed by a hymn, a poem and a few quotes:

 Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.

Where there is hatred let me sow love.  Where there is injury, pardon.

Where there is doubt, faith. Where there is despair, hope.

Where there is darkness, light.  And where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console.

To be understood as to understand. To be loved as to love.

For it is giving that we receive—It is pardoning that we are pardoned.

And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.


“Here I am Lord”

Words and Music by Daniel I. Schutte

I, the Lord of sea and sky.

I have heard my people cry.

All who dwell in dark and sin,

My hand will save.

I, who made the stars of night,

I will make the darkness bright.

Who will bear my light to them?

Whom shall I send?

Here I am, Lord.  Is it I, Lord?

I have heard you calling in the night.

I will go, Lord, if you lead me.

I will hold your people in my heart.

“Abou Ben Adhem”
By Leigh Hunt

Abou Ben Adhem (may his tribe increase!)
Awoke one night from a deep dream of peace,
And saw, within the moonlight in his room,
Making it rich, and like a lily in bloom,
An Angel writing in a book of gold:

Exceeding peace had made Ben Adhem bold,
And to the Presence in the room he said,
“What writest thou?” The Vision raised its head,
And with a look made of all sweet accord
Answered, “The names of those who love the Lord.”

“And is mine one?” said Abou. “Nay, not so,”
Replied the Angel. Abou spoke more low,
But cheerily still; and said, “I pray thee, then,
Write me as one who loves his fellow men.”

The Angel wrote, and vanished. The next night
It came again with a great wakening light,
And showed the names whom love of God had blessed,
And, lo! Ben Adhem’s name led all the rest!

 

“Let us be like the bird. For a moment perched on a frail branch while he sings.  Though he feels it bend, yet he sings his song, knowing that he has wings.” Victor Hugo

 

“Too often we give children answers to remember rather than problems to solve.” Roger Levin

“We thought, because we had power, we had wisdom.” Stephen Vincent Benet

I wish you joy.

Nancy Devlin

Posted in Behavior, From Experience, Getting the Most For Your Child, Labeling | 1 Comment

The First Three Years of Your Child’s Life Is the Most Important

Women  who leave work to have a child often have a difficult

decision to make after the birth of the child.   They must decide

when  to go back to work.   It is important that parents have the

information  necessary  for  an  informed  decision.   The  final

decision is theirs and once made,  parents should not be made  to

feel  guilty  no  matter what their  decision. Many  new  parents,

however,  are  uninformed  about child development and  sometimes

make this irrevocable decision based on lack of information.

Dr.  Burton  White  of the Center for Parent  Education  has

worked  for  twenty years observing babies from  birth  to  three

years of age.  His studies indicate that these years are critical

for children’s ultimate educational development and that the best

teachers are the parents and grandparents.  These are the  people

who  give the children the incentive to grow and develop by their

deep love and encouragement.   They are the baby’s first cheering

section  as each milestone is passed.   For the new  parents  and

grandparents,  seeing  the child learn to take his first step  or

say his first word, produces genuine and delightful fuss in which

the baby basks and grows.
Babies  need to explore their environment to  learn.   Their

curiosity  can  decline if they are too  restricted.   They  need

someone to watch them so that they can explore safely.  They need

someone  to  help  them  when  they  get  stuck.   This  takes  a

commitment  on the part of the adult and the people who are  most

committed are the parents and grandparents.

Dr.  White  is so convinced of the importance of parents and

grandparents in providing care for the first three years of life,

that  he  recommends  that the  government  provide  support  and

assistance  to  the family so that the parents can  provide  this

care  rather  than providing support for day  care  centers.   He

recommends  a parent education program for families so that  they

can  provide their children’s first educational delivery  system.

Intervention should begin at the earliest age possible and should

improve  the child’s home environment by sensitizing the  parents

to the child’s developmental needs.

Parents  need to know about developmental stages in order to

be  prepared  to  help their child develop  language  and  social

skills.  Part of this preparedness requires that they be alert to

physical and sensory handicaps. Dr. White is especially concerned

about hearing loss.  When it occurs,  detecting and responding to

the loss is crucial.  During the first three years of life children

undergo rapid,  basic language learning.  Delay in acquiring

language  skills  is  one  of the most common  causes  of  under-

achieving  in  school.   Being able to hear is essential  to  the

devlopment of receptive language in a young baby.   Parents  need

to  know  about the importance of talking to  babies.   The  baby

should  begin  to understand speech even though she  cannot  talk

herself.

The  first  three  years  constitute  a   once-in-a-lifetime

chance  for the child to attain good language skills in  addition

to  a sense of curiosity about the world around her.  Many  other

essential skills are acquired during this period.  It is the time

when  the child develops a sense of trust and learns that she  is

loved  and  safe.   The  child  begins  the  development  of  good

interpersonal  skills.   This  is not a haphazard process or  one

that  can be left to chance.   Dr.  White feels it is  harder  to

produce a happy and nice child than it is to produce a smart one.

Parents have to make a decision about their children and how they

want  them to develop.  It takes work and commitment but putting

the commitment into these first three years,  will make the rest

of the job easier and more successful.

Posted in Getting the Most For Your Child, Parenting | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

Homework Should Not Imitate School

  In  an  effort  to  prepare children  to  be  successful  in school,   parents  tend   to  follow the  school’s  curriculum.  Schools  function as they do in most cases because they are bound by certain constraints.   They are constrained by a  building,  a classroom setting,  a teacher with many children, and a specified curriculum  which must be covered on a  pre-determined  schedule.  Parents  are not bound in this way,  and should use their greater freedom  to enrich their children’s lives in ways impossible  for the school to match. 

     I  have  never been able to understand why  parents  imitate schools when,  theoretically,  the sky is the limit.   Instead of introducing  a child to the world outside of the school building, many  parents  buy another workbook from the  drugstore  so  that their child will do even more of what schools are doing.   At the very  least  this shows a lack of creativity on the part  of  the parent.  At worst, it indicates how brainwashed parents have been to  feel that schools are the only place where children learn and teachers  are  the  only  ones responsible  for  and  capable  of developing the minds of their children.

     Let  us start with the purpose and problem of homework.   To my  mind,  one  important  purpose  of  homework  is  to  develop responsibility  in the child.   In actual fact,  the  person  who feels  most responsible is the parent.   When a child does not do his homework,  teachers tend to call up the parent and  complain.  I  believe  this is a problem between the child and the  teacher, not  the  parent.   As a result,  a parents’ involvement  in  his child’s  education  usually  is  an  extension  of  the  school’s involvement.   Homework is really school work done at home.   The only  way  parents should get involved with this endeavor  is  if
homework is truly homework,  i.e. something that can only be done at home or outside of school.   Several examples are:  a visit to a museum,  a study of birds in your backyard, or a survey of the various occupations of parents, relatives and neighbors.  Parents interactions with children at home can be much more creative than the school work their children bring home.  Instead of making thethe  home a battlefield,  true homework should have the potential for bringing the family together and foster communication.

     Parents  can  also  help  their children  by  fostering  the development  of  verbal  and  communication  skills.   Encourage communication  by including  the  entire family in discussions or language  games.   Take children shopping and point out names and categories.   Try  to  avoid  yes/no responses  when  talking  to children.   Instead  of  “Did you have fun in school today?”  say, “What  did you enjoy most about  school today?”   Recite  nursery rhymes  together.    Make   speech enjoyable   by  talking  about things  children like, not about  their difficulties.    You and your children could create an  on-going story.  Make conversation around the dinner table interesting and give everyone a chance to participate.    Read  poems at home to each other.   All of these activities have the potential to make children more successful at school.

     One of the greatest threats to learning and communication in the  home  is television.   It saps children  of  their  creative energy.   They  become passive learners.   Since learning is not a passive activity , many children come to school at a disadvantage because  they expect to  be   entertained.   Teachers  can   only present  the material.   The students must take an active part in learning  it.   As a matter of fact,   we talk about needing word attack skills in order to learn to read.  The student must do the attacking.    Many  parents,   however,  use  television  as  a babysitter  and as a means of  avoiding  conflict  in the  family by  limiting  interactions.  Until parents find a solution to this dilemma,   their efforts  to help their children be successful in school will be less and less effective.

Posted in Getting the Most For Your Child, Parenting | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment