The skills of conversation, communication, negotiation and socialization are about to be lost to the next generation. Today's children do not need them in this technological age. They can use their computers to have a conversation with someone they never see. After a time, they may consider this person a friend.
If at any time they get mad or do not like the way the conversation is going, they need not empathize or negotiate; they merely disconnect. Conversation is over. They do not need to be concerned about what effect this cut-off has on the other person because they never have to contact him again.
They can just contact another "friend". Socialization is a lost art. People used to go to Atlantic City not only to gamble but to have fun. The gaming tables were exciting because everyone was involved. Now many of the gaming tables are gone in order to make room for more slot machines--a solitary activity. It used to be that a family could communicate and get to know each other better on car trips.
If a child is drawn to computers and does nothing else, wise parents should try to determine why this activity is more rewarding than any others the child could choose.
Now some car rental agencies are offering Autovisions, a portable video unit which can play videotapes or video games on a five-inch screen.
Each child can have his own screen.
They no longer need to learn how to interact and to communicate with each other. They do not even have to look at the scenery and perhaps learn something about their country.
Theoretically, for all the good the trip will do for them, they do not have to leave home at all. They are not going to notice or be involved in anything but the solitary video games. In George Orwell's prophetic novel, "1984", a totalitarian society controlled the schools and the publishing industry in order to eliminate from the language all words needed to express complex, abstract ideas.
The advertising and entertainment industries have accomplished this feat in our time by the introduction of sound-bites. The result is gullible consumers, gullible voters and a paucity of intelligent discourse. People now speak in sound-bites. They do not want to hear details or to engage in long conversations. They only want to be told the bottom line. They can control the amount of output on the computer and now want to control the amount of output of everyone they come in contact with. The art of conversation, if not already dead, is dying. We can counteract this trend.
Schools can incorporate cooperative learning lessons into the curriculum as much as possible.
In these lessons, students learn how to communicate, to cooperate and to negotiate. They learn to listen to others and to influence others about their point of view.
They also learn how other people think and how others can have different, but valid points of view. They interact with real people with different backgrounds, and learning styles in ways which deepen their understanding and appreciation of others. Parents can help by seizing on every opportunity in the family to promote conversation, negotiation and socialization. Instead of bringing technology to the dinner table in the form of a TV, parents should initiate interesting conversation.
Time spent in front of the TV should be limited and supervised. If a child is drawn to computers and does nothing else, wise parents should try to determine why this activity is more rewarding than any others the child could choose. If he uses a computer as a substitute for interacting with real people, parents should know this and take action so that he acquires the skills necessary for successful interpersonal interactions. Computer literacy is important. But so is the art of conversation and the ability to make and to keep a friend.
One should not take precedence over another if one is to be a whole complete, happy human being.
First published in 1995
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