In an article in "Science News" the term "relative deprivation" is discussed. This term was used by psychologists studying morale in the military. They found that in World War II those personnel in the branches of the military service which gave out the most promotions complained the most about their rank. The investigators used the term "relative deprivation" as an explanation for the trend.
That is, it is not what you have, but what you have compared with others in the same situation. In gentler times, before television, people could be happier.
Advertisers prey on our desire to have all of those possessions: the gourmet food, the mansions, the servants, the elegant clothes.
They did not need to be concerned with acquiring things.
As long as one had food, clothing, a means of transportation, a job and a place to live, life was going well. The food was adequate but not elegant, the clothing was serviceable but not name brand, the car was not new but it got you were you wanted to go and your home was on a par with your neighbors.
This is the life you experienced every day and you assumed that that was what most people experienced. As a result, you lived the life you had and did not spend a great deal of time bemoaning your fate and becoming angry that you had less than your neighbor because he had the same as you. As far as you were concerned, you did have the best of everything. You could spend your time and energy on family, building keeping relationships, and living your life. Then television came. Television blared out the message of relative deprivation. FIt asserted that we are not blessed; other people have more than we do. The rich and famous have the best of everything, not us. We can be happy only if we have what they have. Advertisers prey on our desire to have all of those possessions: the gourmet food, the mansions, the servants, the elegant clothes. Suddenly, what we have is no good anymore. No matter how much it fulfilled our needs before, now it is not good enough. If we lack the things "television" people have, we feel deprived and deprived people are not happy. We are no longer happy with our family and our life because we are told someone else has it better. Television gives the message that people who have the best of everything are happier than the rest of us.
They lead a charmed life while ours is flawed. There is also the implication that people who have the best of everything do not have to do anything to be that way. They just are. Rarely are we told what obstacles they had to overcome to get where they are. How much they had to work, what they deprived themselves of, what they had to give up and sacrifice. And for some, the price they had to pay in loss of family, bouts of alcoholism, and debilitating drug abuse may have been a higher price than most of us would want to pay. We only see the end result. We want the rewards of the end result, not the hard journey it may have taken to get there. It reminds me a little of my son who came to me at four years of age and said he wanted to know how to read.
After congratulating myself on being such a good mother to produce such a wonderful son, I began to teach him. He said, no, no, he did not want to learn how to read he wanted to be able to read.
He did not want to do any work. He thought it worked like magic. By saying he wanted to read, it would be so. Needless to say, he did not learn to read at four.
Relative deprivation and wanting to have it all without any effort go hand in hand. These two phenomena make it difficult to raise responsible children.
Today's children see that their families do not have it all and they are dissatisfied, discontented and angry. Television creates the feeling of magic and wishing will make it so. We need to give a different message to our children if they are ever to find happiness and contentment in this television devastated world.
First published in 1992
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